Eggs Benedict

Pope Benedict XVI, two Cardinals from his Counsil and Prime Minister Berlusconi were walking alongside the road while chatting about Italian-Vatican relations when a thought occurred to the Prime Minister. He thought to himself, ‘Nearly all Italians are cradle-Catholics, as am I, but why do I believe in God? I've never really thought about it.’

So, with this in mind, Berlusconi asked the opinion of the Pope. He said, “Papa Benedetto, perché Lei credisce a Dio?” The Pope responded, “Well my brother, many people look to a man by the name of St. Anselm of Canterbury for a reasoned explanation of their faith. His ontological argument for the existence of God goes like this”:

1) God is that than which nothing greater can be conceived
2) Existence in reality is better than ideal existence
3) Even the fool has an idea of God
Concl.) God exists

Cardinal #1: But look, the problem with Anselm is that you can replace ‘God’ with any other word to prove that it exists. With this reasoning, you can prove for example that a leprechaun exists or that an invisible sky-doughnut exists. Whatever you wish to prove, you have it.

Cardinal #2: Well, technically, the greatest problem with Anselm is that he begs the question in defining God on the path to proving his existence. This is a cardinal fallacy in logical discussion, and therefore renders the argument fallacious with bad logical quality.

Pope Benedict: To synthesize a bit of what has been said, one can say above all that the argument, if it is to be examined as a logical induction, only works for the greatest being. That is to say, it works only if we presuppose that God is indeed that than which nothing greater can be conceived. And while Anselm’s logic appears at first to be circular, one must remember that these words were written in a spiritual meditation before the enlightenment, not a modern-day philosophical treatise. So to judge his logic by our standards seems quite disingenuous. But if we are to bring forth his thoughts into the contemporary world, there must be a harmony of faith and reason involved in our reflection…

And the discussion went on like this for some time, first over some coffee, then they chatted over pizza, and later they proceeded over a bottle of wine deep into the evening hours. All day long as Berlusconi was present to this clash of great theological minds, he nodded his head on occasion to affirm and respect the thoughts of the three other men.

When the night was coming to an end, Berlusconi stood up and thanked the men for their time and insight. As they shook hands, they all posed for a photo opportunity that was displayed in the next day’s newspaper. Above this picture, the headline read: “Berlusconi, Benedict Encounter: ‘God is a celestial doughnut.’ ”