Top 5 Differences Between Germany and America

In honor of the first day of August and my glass of wine, I felt it appropriate to share with you my ever so profound observations of the cultural differences between Germany and the US. Ouila.

5. Discipline. There's no one who does straight down the line like the Germans. Americans, on the other hand, tend to stick to the more important aspects of life...like Paris Hilton.

4. Car maintanence. So many spotless, minimal exhaust VW's and Beemers you'll get dizzy trying to count them all as they pass by.

3. Bikes. In larger German cities, nearly everyone owns a bike. It doesn't matter if it's a fem-bike either, men can ride it. Take my bike for example, it's pink and black, and that takes nothing at all away from my masculinity... Hey, shut up!!! I found it in the basement ok. It was free man...it was free.

2. Fashion. Deutschland is the only place that I know of where it's still cool or at least acceptable to wear spandex running shorts, fanny packs, roller blade to work, and sport a bright yellow mohock in a high school classroom. That's what we call true freedom my friends. Who could ask for anything more?

1. Alcoholism. Your average bar fly in the States is like Oma's slow Tuesday evening in Deutschland.