Mock anchorman Steven Colbert made his mark on history by fecisciously inventing a word during his inaugural broadcast of the Colbert Report. This word has been added into Webster's Dictionary and was awarded the Word of the Year Award in 2005 by the American Dialect Society. Behold.
Scientists claim to have observed a particle moving faster than the speed of light. This would, of course, have great repurcussions upon the way in which we understand the universe, evidencing a hole in the special theory of relativity. I don't really understand it so much, but here is the basic claim.
I recently came upon a 3-minute comedy news show, which is updated every weekday. The host is Steve Tatham, a writer for Disney Studios with a fair amount of wit. Enjoy The Ointment.
P.s. Do not apply to sensitive areas.
The Director of the GOA warns us of fatal flaws in US society and claims that she is bound to fall just as the great Roman Empire once did. Is he right in his predictions?
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, now why we have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will never leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not typically belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
